Balance?

 As my teenage daughter glares at me across the crazy packed car on the way to the airport today, I think to myself, ”why is this such a struggle”?   My personal challenges with my own little family are so overwhelming. I wonder how one even examines societies’ expectations of motherhood or the “institution of motherhood” like we have been trying to do in UNCG's Motherhood class. This struggle of the role of the mother is still very present today and can most likely be traced back to the first independent challenging act by a child toward their mother. Isn’t the basis of most self-help books for one to find “balance”.  Are they talking about the general balance of power that in rooted back to the mother child relationship?  I wish I had an answer to how women could have more “power” within society and more “respect” with-in their own families. Within parts of, Of Women Born, by Adrienne Rich, she deals with the issues of a “father‘s control of the mother”,  and the “privatization of home”(page 53) .  Although control by the “Institutional motherhood” is well intended and at times may help the “Institutional of family”, the balance should ultimately be found on a case by case basis. Don’t we all really just want our children to be strong, creative and independent some day with their own choices of family planning and balance

   Rich talks about the “housewife” choice and gives examples of women who were very “productive” in a home/community environment but later in less community “lonely” when sheltered away. I have struggled with these feelings as well. I have been a “housewife” and “working mom” at different times in my life (not always by my own choice). I had my daughter at 22 and also have 11 and 4 year old boys who I had at 26 and 33. Although I never felt as negative or extreme as Rich, I did identify with many of the ups and downs and pressures by the “Institutional motherhood”. I have been on both sides of why to work and "stay at home" within discussions by my family and friends.  Although this a subjective issue, the key for family balance is to compromise with the father/Patriarch/society that directly influences one’s life and try for a balance( and hope it can transfer over to a “strong willed” teenager someday). Also, it is important to make time for yourself and your dreams and this sets a good example for your children. I came to realize more with my second child that children will be better off  if they see "the world does not revolve around" them.  Maybe it just depends on the child ? My teenager daughter and I have a roller-coaster relationship. My sons on the one hand are more even emotionally.Thankfully for our whole family, we have the wonderful up times !  In a silly example, she ten minutes ago made me this message; bigassmessage.com/ec2  ( it just flashes "My mom is hot"...?!)