The Benefits of Being a Mother Today

  As I sat today writing this post I was thinking of how lucky I am as a mother.   After reading parts of, Of Women Born, by Adrienne Rich, and Ann Crittenden’s, The Price of Motherhood, some of the struggles of motherhood and the role of societies’ expectations were "truly"  thought out more clearly by me. .I looked into how mothers have to deal with sexism, racism, and a general lack of respect, and societies lack of monetary reimbursement for mothers work at home. Although I feel it is difficult to put a monetary value on the mothering "House Wife", society should follow the lead of countries like Sweden and give a "value" to these hard working women. 


   As I was reading an e-mail  this week about a "Factory  Rape" in Jordan (http://www.change.org/petitions/tell-walmart-to-stop-rape-and-torture-of-young-women-in-its-factories?). I was saddened and thought of how the author, Rich had discussed horrible conditions for women in factories throughout history. Rich documents some of the harsh conditions for factory women working long hours in the 1800s. She referenced that in 1844 “A British factory inspector could report that ‘a vast majority of the persons employed at night and for long periods during the day are females; their labour is cheaper and they are more easily induced to undergo severe bodily fatigue than men” (page 48, Rich).Phrases like, “Easily induced” demonstrates that women are sometimes characterized as “weak” or having few choices when in fact  working,” for long periods” shows that they are physically strong. The article about the women in Jordan was saying that the co-working men were removed from their posts, so they could not protect their female co-workers from mistreatment!!! Over the years and still to this day it is almost shocking what women will go through to provide for their family. Another example by Rich in the 1800s, discusses how the mothers sometimes gave their unweaned babies “watery gruel” instead of breast milk . I can not even imagine to not be able to met my children's basic needs !:(

  So, a bit guiltily, I restate, "I am so lucky" to be a mother in the conditions I have (and most all the mothers I know)   I  am sitting at Chic-fil-a  having a nice chicken salad and glancing through a soundproof glass wall at my four year old climbing on the equipment.  It has to have been a mother that designed this wonderful restaurant.  The mothers get a break and can possible read or talk to friends and the child is having a ball. 

My" Internal" History of Motherhood

My "internal" history, meaning what I am thinking and possibly why am I this kind of mother? I think I will reflect  back on to one of my first happy childhood memories; for if I was "happy" as a child maybe that intensified my desire to be a mother? In my current class on motherhood, we evaluated why we wanted/or did not want to be mothers. As I personally asked this question and answered,"yes", I feel the best way to show this desire is through these foundation of memories of my family. 
  Remembering myself in Dekalb, Illinois as a child of about five and my adventures in our vast, flat, field of a backyard. One moment, that brought out the senses, was as I lay in the tall grassy field. Being a middle child of four, born in a six year span of time, us kids would run “free in the fields” as the parents would talk of their new jobs at NIU.  I felt very secure as a hidden observer as I was listening of talking off in the distance. As I lay supine in the swaying tall grass, I had created a pressed-down area of a hidden playpen. I felt an extreme feeling of connection to nature with the twightlight sky above and insects abuzz around the edges of my little den. I was also feeling “protected”, “secure”, and yet a  hidden observer . “Secure” in listening to my parents talking on the back patio of ”regular life” and hearing off in the further distance the band practice from the University Stadium . The University of Northern Illinois held a regional band competition every summer, and since our house on Annie Glidden road was backed up to the stadium, this sound was just a part of my childhood. In retrospect, the reinforcement of the sounds of the University brought confidence in my father to mind. For, my father had just brought his family of six, to the wide-open Midwest, away from the “overbearing” Italian in-laws.

Another memory was of times with my mother looking in her bureau drawers. . Penelope Donoghue Deloca, who brought me into this world in the 70’s, was always know to me as a natural,”no fuss” woman. Looking in my mother’s drawers brought out her glamorous past of being Mrs. New York in 1966.  I remember touching the soft long white gloves and shimmering “diamond” jewels that I also could see in old photo’s. Although at the time it was a pure feminine interest that attracted me to these objects, the conversations and lessons about “true beauty” have stayed with me to this day. 
 I only hope from all the craziness and roller coaster like emotions in my current family life my children may have a couple "happy" memories to hold someday. 

Pilot Post

One of the most important qualities of a good parent is a good sense of humour. Enough said.
"When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other."  ~Alan Alda